12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You by Tony Reinke
"...life in the digital age is an open invitation for clear, biblical thinking about the impact of our phones on ourselves, on our creation, on our neighbors, and on our relationships to God. Thoughtlessly adopting new technologies is worldliness" (37).
"I have discovered that all the unhappiness of men arises from one single fact, that they cannot stay quietly in their own chamber...Hence it comes than men so much love noise and stir; hence it comes that the prison is so horrible a punishment; hence it comes that the pleasure of solitude is a thing incomprehensible."--quoting Pascal. "Pascal's point is a perennial fact: the human appetite for distraction is high in every age, because distractions give us easy escape from the silence and solitude whereby we become acquainted with our finitude, our inescapable mortality, and the distance of God from all our desires, hopes, and pleasures" (45).
"It is difficult to serve God with our heart, soul, strength and mind when we are diverted and distracted and multi-tasking everything"--quoting Doublas Groothuis, philosophy prof at Denver Seminary (47).
"From the onset of this study, we must die to the idea that a distraction-free life is possible--it is not, and it never has been. the holy life is piously complex, meaning we must learn how to apply distraction management in every situation" (50).
"If anger is the viral emotion of online disembodiment, then joy is the Christian emotion of embodied fellowship" (59).
"All writing that is remote--like the ancient letter, the modern text message, or this book--is more like ghost-to-ghost communication than person-to-person interaction. Yes, there is something of us in written words, but not everything in true fellowship can be typed out on phone screens...This is the reality of communication. Joy is a precious emotion of our integrated existence" (60).
"We easily settle into digital villages of friends who think just like us and escape from people who are unlike us. Our phones buffer us from diversity"..quoting Alistair Roberts--although"generational differences are fundamentally constitutive differences for the human race...new media is one of the may ways are elders are rendered invisible." "And it's not only our elders, but also the impoverished, the cognitively disabled, children, the less educated, the less literate, the less cosmopolitan, and non-Westerners. In effect, our online communities 'render invisible the majority of the human race'" (71).
Again quotes are from Roberts: "In fact, our online communities of like-minded friends are often marked by a 'positive feedback loop,' where 'affirmation and assent merely reinforce existing prejudices. In such contexts, communicties become insular, echo chambers of accepted opinion, closed to opposing voices,' which means they breed a 'homeostatic stifling of difference'" (72).
"The literacy problem we face today is not illiteracy but aliteracy, a digital skimming that is simply an attempt to keep up with a deluge of information coming through our phones rather than slowing down and soaking up what is most important" (85).
"God's word demands our highest levels of literacy concentration because it requires relational reading: not the superficial chitchat of a cocktail party, but the covenantal concentration of marriage vows. God's word is an invitation to orient our affections and desires. Our challenge is to use social media in the service of serious reading" (89).
In a footnote quoting Douglas Wilson: "Creation is a gift meant to bring glory to the Creator. All Christians agree here. But Christians throughout the ages have put their suspicions in different places. Take C.S. Lewis and Augustine. I love them both, but I would rather have a beer with Lewis. Lewis would order us a really good beer, just because it was a really good beer, with his understanding of God suffusing the whole. For him, while the thickness of creation can become an idol, a rival to God, it is intended for us as a sermon by God about God. And you cant't honor the preacher by ignoring the sermon. But Augustine would perhaps think that a thin beer would help us think of Jesus more, not distracting us quite so much, and that when we had really advanced in grace, we might be able to get the same effect with water. I say this in the full recognition that I am not worthy to have been Augustine's boot boy. So then a right approach to a thick creation honors the Creator more fully; we honor his work as he gave it, instead of trying to dilute it in misguided zeal for his glory." Reinke says: "Intended or not, Wilson's illustration of alcohol density coincides with the display of diving glory echoed in the first miracle of Jesus (John 2:1-11). He did not flex his sovereign power by turning party wine into water, but by turning ceremonial washing water into dark, undiluted party wine--the 'good wine' that caught attention. Not only did the water-to-wine thickening of creation not cloud Christ's glory, it manifested it" (95).
"...We must humbly admit that we are targets of digital mega-corporations that can make us into reckless consumers with strategic intermediated content. We cannot be naive here. Our attention spans have been monetized, and getting us hooked on our phones is a commercial commodity measured in billions of dollars, not kiosk change" (99).
"...We must celebrate. We cannot suppress our souls' appetite for what is awe-inspiring. The goal is not to mute all smartphone media but to feed ourselves the right media. We are created to behold, see, taste, and delight in the richness of God's glory--and that glory often comes refracted to us through skilled artists. Our insatiable appetite for viral videos, memes, and tweets is the product of an appetite for glory that God gave us" (100).
"Social media has become the new PR firm of the brand Self" (109).
"In the digital age, we idolize our phones when we lost the ability to ask if they help us (or hurt us) in reaching our spiritual goals. We grow so fascinated with technological glitz that we become captive to the wonderful means of our phones--their speed, organization, and efficiency--and these means themselves become sufficient ends. Our destination remains foggy because we are fixated on the speed of travel. We mistakenly submit human and spiritual goals to our technological possibilities" (115).
"Friction is the path to genuine authenticity, and no amount of online communication can overcome a lack of real integrity. We must be real with the people God puts in our lives....We are authentic believers who are committed to replacing easy relationships with authentic ones" (126).
Sherry Turkle: "The capacity for empathic conversation goes hand in hand with the capacity for solitude. In solitude we find ourselves; we prepare ourselves to come into conversation with something to say that is authentic" (126).
"Every morning we must take time to stop, to be still, to know that God is God and that we are his children. Digital technology must not fill up all the silent gaps of life" (129).
"The great term 'by faith' is a synonym for confidence in the unseen spiritual realities. Yet on what your heart loves, your eyes will linger." In a footnote on page 138, the great insight that "This is a recurring theme in the book of Isaiah, where the verb 'look to' is simultaneously applied to physical sight and spiritual sight (loyalty) in contrasting the categories of idols/God, visual/faith, and the immediate/anticipated" (138).
"...it is of the nature of technology to dislocate us historically. In principle, writes Craig Gay, 'the technological habit of mind is anti-teleological. It is largely uninterested, and indeed incapable, of appreciating the notions of final causality or ultimate purpose'" (180).
Future Reading:
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/10/opinion/david-brooks-building-attention-span.html
Interesting because it's an opposing view to what most seem to have to say about technology turning our brains to mush: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17707600-smarter-than-you-think
https://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/being-a-better-online-reader
http://www.reformation21.org/articles/the-seven-deadly-sins-in-a-digital-age-4-sloth.php
https://dougwils.com/books-and-culture/s22-money-love-desire/creation-is-thick-i-tell-you.html
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22240772-the-things-of-earth?ac=1&from_search=true
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/14568717-big-disconnect
I'll just read this instead of reading Turkle's new book: https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/04/books/review/jonathan-franzen-reviews-sherry-turkle-reclaiming-conversation.html and https://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/27/opinion/sunday/stop-googling-lets-talk.html
https://www.wsj.com/articles/take-the-pledge-no-more-indulging-porn-1472684658
Monday, June 10, 2019
Saturday, June 1, 2019
The Soul of Shame
"Shame is primarily an emotion that undermines us, not so much via our left-mode rational processing, but by eroding our felt sense of connection and safety, something that supersedes the linguistic, logical, linear, factual mode of mental activity. As such, in brain time, to be less than, to be inadequate, is felt, sensed, and imaged long before we think it."
"Isolation is one of shame's primary methods."
"When I am in the presence of another who elicits discomfort within me, though I easily point to the person outside my skin as the responsible party for my distress, the real problem is far more proximate. For it is ultimately within me.
"My 'problem,' as it turns out, is ultimately what I am sensing, imaging, feeling, thinking and doing. It is not my only problem, just my ultimate one...
"But beyond this, and even more important, my problem is not just what I am sensing but that I do not feel adequate to respond to it. I perceive, beginning at nonconscious levels of awareness, that I do not have what it takes to tolerate what I feel. I am not just angry, sad, or lonely. But ultimately these feelings rest on the bedrock that I am alone with what I feel, and no one is coming to my aid. Shame undergirds other affective states because of its relationship to being left. And to be abandoned ultimately is to be in hell" (109).
"...we must remember, we are dust and breath, and healing shame will necessarily mean we act differently with our bodies. We will move when before we were literally unable to with our bodies. We will speak when before we were silent. We will demonstrate physical agency in the real world, as God did in Jesus..." (148).
"This is the story shame wants to tell. It is the story of fragility. It is the story of showering those who are smart, gifted and charismatic with approbations, and those are less so with, well, less. The story in which we have conflicts but are too afraid to face the emotions we anticipate will be waiting for us. These emotions have their source in the shame whose attendant tellls us that we are not enough and that Jesus is not enough for us to have this conversation. We won't be able to take it. Furthermore, if we ever imagined that Jesus would be present in that conversation, we might think he could take it, but we don't imagine that he's even there" (158).
"...unless leadership of an organization is open to curiosity, open to the idea that unless we are known, what we know doesn't matter, and open to seeking where shame hides, exposing the reality of our naked, vulnerable selves, and disregarding the shame that wants us to hide, we will continue to repeat the interaction that took place in Eden" (159).
"Paul then lists a number of noble things that we might do, but if they are not done lovingly, they mean nothing.
"I mentioned earlier that love and shame are the two fundamental affective states warring for our souls. Of course, this oversimplifies the case. It is not as if shame is the only emotion that gives us trouble, and love houses virtually ever emotion that leads to constructive, integrating behavior. The point here, however, is that in many respects life is not that complicated. In any instant it boils down to microdecisions we make that generally move us in one of two directions: a more integrated, resilient life of connection with God and others, or a more disintegrated, separated, chaotic and rigid life. Every minute of every day we choose between shame and love" (179).
"Isolation is one of shame's primary methods."
"When I am in the presence of another who elicits discomfort within me, though I easily point to the person outside my skin as the responsible party for my distress, the real problem is far more proximate. For it is ultimately within me.
"My 'problem,' as it turns out, is ultimately what I am sensing, imaging, feeling, thinking and doing. It is not my only problem, just my ultimate one...
"But beyond this, and even more important, my problem is not just what I am sensing but that I do not feel adequate to respond to it. I perceive, beginning at nonconscious levels of awareness, that I do not have what it takes to tolerate what I feel. I am not just angry, sad, or lonely. But ultimately these feelings rest on the bedrock that I am alone with what I feel, and no one is coming to my aid. Shame undergirds other affective states because of its relationship to being left. And to be abandoned ultimately is to be in hell" (109).
"...we must remember, we are dust and breath, and healing shame will necessarily mean we act differently with our bodies. We will move when before we were literally unable to with our bodies. We will speak when before we were silent. We will demonstrate physical agency in the real world, as God did in Jesus..." (148).
"This is the story shame wants to tell. It is the story of fragility. It is the story of showering those who are smart, gifted and charismatic with approbations, and those are less so with, well, less. The story in which we have conflicts but are too afraid to face the emotions we anticipate will be waiting for us. These emotions have their source in the shame whose attendant tellls us that we are not enough and that Jesus is not enough for us to have this conversation. We won't be able to take it. Furthermore, if we ever imagined that Jesus would be present in that conversation, we might think he could take it, but we don't imagine that he's even there" (158).
"...unless leadership of an organization is open to curiosity, open to the idea that unless we are known, what we know doesn't matter, and open to seeking where shame hides, exposing the reality of our naked, vulnerable selves, and disregarding the shame that wants us to hide, we will continue to repeat the interaction that took place in Eden" (159).
"Paul then lists a number of noble things that we might do, but if they are not done lovingly, they mean nothing.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poot and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)"In this sense, love is less a noun than an adverb (i.e., lovingly), a word that describes the action of a verb, action taken at wisdom's pace. And shame is all about stopping movement, shuttering conversation, crushing creative discovery, acting to quickly or too slowly for fear of making mistakes, and avoiding the repair of ruptures that re inevitable with the mobility of intersecting lives" (177).
"I mentioned earlier that love and shame are the two fundamental affective states warring for our souls. Of course, this oversimplifies the case. It is not as if shame is the only emotion that gives us trouble, and love houses virtually ever emotion that leads to constructive, integrating behavior. The point here, however, is that in many respects life is not that complicated. In any instant it boils down to microdecisions we make that generally move us in one of two directions: a more integrated, resilient life of connection with God and others, or a more disintegrated, separated, chaotic and rigid life. Every minute of every day we choose between shame and love" (179).
Sunday, May 26, 2019
Atomic Habits by James Clear
"Stress compounds...negative thoughts compound. The more you think of yourself as worthless or stupid or ugly, the more you condition yourself to interpret life that way." --James Clear, Atomic Habits
"Making a choice that is 1% better or 1% worse seems insignificant in the moment, but over the span of moments that make up a lifetime, these choices determine the difference between who you are who you could be. Success is the product of daily habits, not once-in-a-lifetime transformations. That said, it doesn't matter how successful or unsuccessful you are right now. What matters is whether your habits are putting you on the path toward success. You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results." --James Clear, Atomic Habits
Mic drop here, pretty much. I mean wow and yasssss and praise hands.
But I will add my thoughts...Thanks to @tshoxenreider and @thelazygenius and whoever else recommended this book. It met me in my time of need, (which apparently has been all my life because I never learned to develop habits.) I read and loved Charles Duhigg's The Power of Habit and loved it, but just as he claimed, Mr. Clear brilliantly took things to the next level of understanding and application. What I loved most: the foundation he laid for the importance of habits (in a sense, who you are is comprised of the things you regularly do, and the things you regularly do make you who you are); the insight that lack of autonomy diminishes willpower (so you can stay motivated by giving yourself choices, even small ones); and the practical advice for how to build habits--slowly and with such small steps that it's actually easy (I mean, that just might work!)
Will return to this one again and again. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫—I really, really liked it
Wednesday, May 15, 2019
May Reads
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
2.5 stars, rounded down
It started out quite charming. A few chapters in I was thrilled with what a delight this book would be: a likeable protagonist who loves books, a love story on the way, and just enough WWII info to make it feel not quite completely frivolous (but not enough to be a downer in this lighthearted, sweet book.) I was disappointed. I finished the book only because I was hoping that the ending would redeem it. Everyone said this book was so amazing, and usually I agree with the hype. In this instance, however, I think I just didn't have the suspension of disbelief required. I was not convinced of the easy, universal adoration that was gushed toward Juliet, and that her correspondents who hadn't even met her would share personal, traumatic details of the German occupation. (I had similar skepticism toward the idealized Elizabeth, and then waves of guilt for feeling so.) I furthermore was not convinced that the members of the literary society would be such good writers, and would all write in the same style. I found the love interest plot predictable but disappointing. I was not a fan of the manner in which the details of wartime were sprinkled throughout, only to accent the much lighter and inadequate plot, as if having survived such things just made the characters that much more endearing. By the time I finished, I was relieved it was over.
"Goodwill isn't nearly enough, is it, Juliet? Not nearly enough." --Dawsey
Emma
Of course picking this one up in the throes of a Pride & Prejudice hangover was unfair. To always be comparing Emma and her story to Elizabeth Bennet and hers is undoubtedly setting Emma up to disappoint. So let's phrase it this way: reading Emma made me more in love with P&P. Emma's naivete was initially sweet enough, but her slowness to learn grated on me. Emma's self-centeredness to the very end left her an unlikeable protagonist (which is HUGE). Emma contains many characters I also found grating. I'm sure it was set up as satire, but their dialogues would just go on and on, and I found the grating excessive. Austen is smart and witty, as always, but this one just doesn't shine.
The Gifts of Imperfection
More listy, but not as great as Daring Greatly. Probably says I still have a lot to learn about shame that I found the lists more deflating than inspiring. Still, so many good points. Such a needed voice.
2.5 stars, rounded down
It started out quite charming. A few chapters in I was thrilled with what a delight this book would be: a likeable protagonist who loves books, a love story on the way, and just enough WWII info to make it feel not quite completely frivolous (but not enough to be a downer in this lighthearted, sweet book.) I was disappointed. I finished the book only because I was hoping that the ending would redeem it. Everyone said this book was so amazing, and usually I agree with the hype. In this instance, however, I think I just didn't have the suspension of disbelief required. I was not convinced of the easy, universal adoration that was gushed toward Juliet, and that her correspondents who hadn't even met her would share personal, traumatic details of the German occupation. (I had similar skepticism toward the idealized Elizabeth, and then waves of guilt for feeling so.) I furthermore was not convinced that the members of the literary society would be such good writers, and would all write in the same style. I found the love interest plot predictable but disappointing. I was not a fan of the manner in which the details of wartime were sprinkled throughout, only to accent the much lighter and inadequate plot, as if having survived such things just made the characters that much more endearing. By the time I finished, I was relieved it was over.
"Goodwill isn't nearly enough, is it, Juliet? Not nearly enough." --Dawsey
Emma
Of course picking this one up in the throes of a Pride & Prejudice hangover was unfair. To always be comparing Emma and her story to Elizabeth Bennet and hers is undoubtedly setting Emma up to disappoint. So let's phrase it this way: reading Emma made me more in love with P&P. Emma's naivete was initially sweet enough, but her slowness to learn grated on me. Emma's self-centeredness to the very end left her an unlikeable protagonist (which is HUGE). Emma contains many characters I also found grating. I'm sure it was set up as satire, but their dialogues would just go on and on, and I found the grating excessive. Austen is smart and witty, as always, but this one just doesn't shine.
The Gifts of Imperfection
More listy, but not as great as Daring Greatly. Probably says I still have a lot to learn about shame that I found the lists more deflating than inspiring. Still, so many good points. Such a needed voice.
Saturday, May 4, 2019
None Like Him by Jen Wilkin
"So it has been ever since: human beings created to bear the image of God instead aspire to become like God...Rather than rest in the immutability of God, we pointed to our own calcified patterns and declare ourselves unchanging and unchangeable" (23).
"While God is not able to be fully known, he is able to be sufficiently known" (34).
"Because God is infinite, he is incomprehensible, unable to be fully known. Because humans are finite, we are able to be fully known. And the implications of our own knowability should change the way we live...Others...can't know us fully. One reason this is true is because we are masters at concealment, even from those we love and trust. We excel at showing our finer qualities while carefully tucking away our shortcomings. And because other people have a limited interest in plumbing the depths of our character, we can get away with it. "Man looks on the outward appearance," and is content to do so, being so typically intent on his own hidden issues that he has little time to concern himself with the hidden issues of his neighbor. No, our neighbor cannot know us, but far more concerning is that we do not and cannot fully know ourselves. "Who can discern his [own] errors?" (Ps. 19:12)" (35-36).
"God is not only an expert on God. He is also an expert on me" (37).
"While God is not able to be fully known, he is able to be sufficiently known" (34).
"Because God is infinite, he is incomprehensible, unable to be fully known. Because humans are finite, we are able to be fully known. And the implications of our own knowability should change the way we live...Others...can't know us fully. One reason this is true is because we are masters at concealment, even from those we love and trust. We excel at showing our finer qualities while carefully tucking away our shortcomings. And because other people have a limited interest in plumbing the depths of our character, we can get away with it. "Man looks on the outward appearance," and is content to do so, being so typically intent on his own hidden issues that he has little time to concern himself with the hidden issues of his neighbor. No, our neighbor cannot know us, but far more concerning is that we do not and cannot fully know ourselves. "Who can discern his [own] errors?" (Ps. 19:12)" (35-36).
"God is not only an expert on God. He is also an expert on me" (37).
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
April 2019
The Invention of Wings (reread) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Still Waiting (reread) ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Courage, Dear Heart ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Daring Greatly ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I Think You’re Wrong (But I’m Listening) ⭐️⭐️⭐️
White Fragility ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫
Atomic Habits ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Still Waiting (reread) ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Courage, Dear Heart ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Daring Greatly ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I Think You’re Wrong (But I’m Listening) ⭐️⭐️⭐️
White Fragility ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫
Atomic Habits ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Courage, Dear Heart by Rebecca C Reynolds
"Then one day it hit me--dissecting the miraculous from the mundane isn't the primary goal of a believer. God is not sitting around waiting for me to give him credit for some divine activity that he's hidden inside obscurity. He's placed me inside a miraculous whole, a macro universe that operates according to his mind-blowing laws of biology, chemistry, and physics. Inside this miraculous whole, micro compressions of God's creative power--miraculous instances--sometimes display God's direct intervention. For example, on the same day that grapes grown by common grace were fermenting slowly in jugs (the miraculous whole), Jesus also turned one batch of water very quickly into wine (the miraculous instance). Both exist on the continuum of the divine creation. Both testify to our Father's involvement in the universe" (91).
"When the Bible speaks about fear--which is often--if speaks to all of this complexity. God knows your defaults. He knows your instincts. He knows your biology, your chemistry, your genetics, your experiences, ad your intellectual capacity. Every connection that occurs in your nervous system, every fluid released by every gland, every physiological reaction--from the lump in your throat to the drop of your stomach--is seen by the God who made you.
"This means that when JEsus comes to the believer saying, 'Do not fear,' he's not like humans who tell you not to worry. He understands what others cannot understand about us because he knows us back and forth, inside and out. He knows that for some of us, this is a command to walk on land, and for others, it's a command to walk on water" (93).
"So when feelings of fear, anxiety, or restlessness do hit, it's important to see them for what they are. They aren't indications that God has abandoned us. They aren't indications that we have messed up or that we are on the wrong track. They are emotions to address. That's all" (101).
"So if you struggle with fear while someone in your religious community brags about his or her boldness, don't let that comparison go too deep. This difference might not result from spiritual maturity so much as chemical capacity. And besides that, you serve a God who isn't limited by your fear. In fact, it's possible that your inborn sensitivity is vital to the specific work God has prepared for you" (102).
"So what if instead of shaming ourselves for our feelings, trying to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and hating ourselves when we fail, we took time to admit the real truth of our situation to God? What if we just said, 'Lord, I am scared. I need some help with this fear'? This is a powerful step to take because the gospel isn't about working harder to prove ourselves--it's about the power of God living in incapable humans" (103).
"When the Bible speaks about fear--which is often--if speaks to all of this complexity. God knows your defaults. He knows your instincts. He knows your biology, your chemistry, your genetics, your experiences, ad your intellectual capacity. Every connection that occurs in your nervous system, every fluid released by every gland, every physiological reaction--from the lump in your throat to the drop of your stomach--is seen by the God who made you.
"This means that when JEsus comes to the believer saying, 'Do not fear,' he's not like humans who tell you not to worry. He understands what others cannot understand about us because he knows us back and forth, inside and out. He knows that for some of us, this is a command to walk on land, and for others, it's a command to walk on water" (93).
"So when feelings of fear, anxiety, or restlessness do hit, it's important to see them for what they are. They aren't indications that God has abandoned us. They aren't indications that we have messed up or that we are on the wrong track. They are emotions to address. That's all" (101).
"So if you struggle with fear while someone in your religious community brags about his or her boldness, don't let that comparison go too deep. This difference might not result from spiritual maturity so much as chemical capacity. And besides that, you serve a God who isn't limited by your fear. In fact, it's possible that your inborn sensitivity is vital to the specific work God has prepared for you" (102).
"So what if instead of shaming ourselves for our feelings, trying to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and hating ourselves when we fail, we took time to admit the real truth of our situation to God? What if we just said, 'Lord, I am scared. I need some help with this fear'? This is a powerful step to take because the gospel isn't about working harder to prove ourselves--it's about the power of God living in incapable humans" (103).
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