"...like an eager student, the brain is remarkably responsive to experience. Ask your brain to do math every day, and it gets better at math. Ask your brain to worry, and it gets better at worrying. Ask your brain to concentrate, and it gets better at concentrating. Not only does your brain find these things easier, but it actually remodels itself based on what you ask it to do." (Plasticity)
"Researchers have found that taking a self-compassionate point of view on a personal failure makes people more likely to take personal responsibility for the failure, than when they take a self-critical point of view. They also are more willing to receive feedback and advice from others, and more likely to learn from the experience. One reason forgiveness helps people recover from mistakes, is that it takes away the shame and pain of thinking about what happened. The 'What the hell? Effect' is an attempt to escape the bad feelings that follow a set-back. Without the guilt and self-criticism, there's nothing to escape. This means it's easier to reflect on how the failure happened, and less tempting to repeat it. On the other hand, if you view your set-backs as evidence that you are a helpless loser who screw everything up, thinking about your failure is a miserable exercise in self-hate. Your most urgent goal will be to soothe those feelings, not to learn from your experience. This is why self-criticism backfires as a strategy for self-control. Like other forms of stress, it drives you straight to comfort coping, whether that's drowning your sorrows in the nearest dive bar, or lifting your spirits with a Visa-sponsored shopping spree."
Other ideas I jotted down.
*Pay attention to what's going on in your mind bEfOrE giving into temptation. (Is there something you're trying to distract or comfort in yourself?)
*Willpower is about "I will," "I won't," and "I want."
*Meditation is good at training attention and memory
*A way to instantly get more willpower-- slow your breathing to 4-6 breaths per minute. This increases your heart rate variability and increases your willpower reserve.
*Willpower makes your brain bigger and faster. In one study, those who started exercising also, without being instructed to do so, decreased their intake of caffeine, junk food, alcohol, and cigarettes. They also had better control of their emotions and had better focus and attention, and were less prone to distraction.
*Sleep is good for self-control. "Mild prefrontal dysfunction" is what happens when you're even mildly sleep-deprived.
*"Nothing drains willpower faster than stress. The biology of stress and the biology of self-control are simply incompatible."
*That initial feeling of exhaustion does not mean you are actually exhausted. It's often a protective signal from the brain... can you push past that first feeling of fatigue? (Applies physically and mentally.)
*Notice: at what point in the day do you have the most self-control?
*Finding your "I want" power can motivate your "I will" and "I won't." "I want" has more to do with long-term goals.
*Also, sometimes turning an "I will" into an "I won't" helps. Not "I will go to the gym today!" but "I won't go home and sit right on the couch."
*Your are less likely to take actions to meet your goals when you (only) moralize the decisions. You're more likely to do the difficult thing when you think about how doing so will help you get what you want. (So not, "I won't cheat on my spouse because that's wrong," but "I won't cheat on my spouse because I want to be an honest person, have a lasting marriage, etc.")
*Many people take 'steps away' from their goal once they start to see progress. (For example, celebrating losing weight with pizza & ice cream.) Feeling good about progress you've made toward your goal isn't a bad thing, but remember the 'why.' Focus on your commitment to the goal, not your progress. "Remembering why works because it changes how you feel about the reward of self-indulgence. That so-called treat will start to look more like the threat to your goals that it is."
*Reduce the variability of your choice day to day. Act as if every choice you made is a commitment to your future choices. ("I could miss the gym today, but do I want to miss it every day this month?" Life as if today is going to be repeated.)
*Do you identify more with the impulses and desires, or with your goals and values? Which you see as more truly 'you' matters.
*Stress puts the brain in a reward-seeking states. Under stress, every temptation seems more tempting, even coping strategies that don't actually work.
*A strategy for feeling better is not the same as a strategy for change.
*Connection to your future self helps your present self make better choice. (How often so I see me 2.0 as a completely different, possessing endless energy and time, never tempted by anything?)
*"Mirror neurons" make us more likely to imitate the behavior of others around us. It is part of being part of a social group- obviously potential for good and not-so-good here.
*"We may try to push thoughts out of our mind, but the body gets the message anyway."
*One method to withstand temptation- "surf the urge." Sit and notice where the temptation shows up in your body, really feel it, and then let it pass as all cravings do.
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