06.20.2020 🎧 What is a Girl Worth? by Rachael Denhollander

This is one of those books that you wish never had to be written; you wish such material for a memoir never even existed. But in this world where the realities of sexual abuse and systematic cover-ups are all but ubiquitous, it is so important for these stories to be told--and listened to. Denhollander has given us a gift in sharing her story with the world. Her boldness in sharing her story publicly, as the first named survivor to come forward and in this book, is nothing short of inspiring. I know not everyone feels that way. As a former member of a SGC myself, I know that many see her as attention-seeking, overly-brazen, a troublemaker. This grieves me deeply. Honestly, I think most of these people are not malicious but just mis-informed. (Obviously those with influence who are doing the misinforming have no excuse.) I hope that these folks will get curious and read her story. I learned so much from her, not only about the Nassar case itself, but about what life is like for survivors and what dynamics are involved in abuse (grooming, power plays, confusion, shame). Highly recommend. 4.5 stars rounded up to 5.

I wrote down one quote, from the area where Denhollander shares about the church's silence (or worse) during their ordeal with the investigation. She shares that they then had about $3000 worth of tools stolen from her husband's work van, and the multiple church leaders reached out with support.

"'Do they realize that the damage done to me, to us, through this investigation is so much worse than the damage done to your van?' 

"I heard him sigh. 'I don't think they understand, or know what to do.'

"He was right. We knew their silence wasn't malicious. But no one had any idea what to do, and they weren't asking. It was okay not to know what to do. It wasn't okay not to ask what they could do. By and large, the events of the last few months had been a sharp reminder of the uphill battle survivors face. To find justice, to be heard, to be understood, to have anyone even care. And I constantly wondered, as I reflected on how hard the process was for me, despite healthy relationships on both sides of the family, 'Who is going to fight for survivors who have no one? Who is even going to see the survivor who isn't on the news? Who will find these hurting people and tell them how much they are worth?"

Another quote, emphasis mine:
"If I were motivated solely by the desire to triumph, my gifts could become dangerous to others, and ultimately, to myself. But the safeguard against this, they told me, was to be motivated instead by love. Love would ensure a willingness to hear and see the truth, even if it meant I was wrong. Love would ensure compassion, even for those who did wrong, while still enabling a fierce pursuit of the truth."