October 2019

Teach Us To Want
With the Fire on High
The Next Right Thing
Ayesha at Last
Persuasion
The Death of Ivan Ilych
Finding Lost Words

Teach Us To Want-- I appreciate this book. I think I've been walking a similar path to Michel's recently, and many of her sources (most of those she quoted are influencers of my views too...Lewis, Keller, Augustine, etc). It seemed heavily influenced by ideas I've heard best taught by James KA Smith, and almost felt like her working out these ideas for herself. It was at once honest and vulnerable, and reasonable and Scriptural. I guess I was hoping for more new insights, but the truth is I still need to work out what I've already heard.
"Standing painfully aware of the gap lying between human and holy, his  [Isaiah's] own reflection in the mirror undoes him. This is the double vision of prayer: we see God and we see ourselves. This is also the double vision of holy desire. As those redeemed in Christ, we begin wanting holiness, yet recognize that our desires continue in the qualities of being human. Saved though we are, we bring to our desires a limited range of understanding. We want from God, and yet fail to grasp the height, depth, and breadth and width of God's holy purposes for our lives, and for the world. We are growing in foodness and yet are capable of persisting in myopic selfishness."

With the Fire On High-- "Sometimes focusing on what you can control is the only way to lessen the pang in your chest when you think about the things you can't" (28). Very well-done, beautifully written, and primes one for inspiration in the kitchen. Still, my heart broke for Emani and her lack of nurturing at 17. She was still a child, and her burdens, though she handled everything courageously, were keenly felt.

The Next Right Thing-- 
"Desire often lives next door to grief inside the soul. Access the grief, and you wake up the longing as well" (56).
"Yes, he wants to feel like he's contributing to society. Yes, he needs ot provide for his family--we both do. The provision doesn't only mean money...You know that even with enough money you may still not feel provided for. Because provision also looks like support, like communication, like turning toward the people you love rather than away from them. Provision looks like staying in the room together when it would be easier to walk out" (59). 
"Let's agree that knowing what we want is not the same as getting what we want, and certainly not the same as demanding what we want. When I honestly admit what I most long for in the presence of Jesus, I can more quickly accept when it doesn't work out. I can talk to him about it, admit my heartbreak, and receive what he has to give in place of it" (91). 
"We are kingdom people and, in a very real way, our time doesn't belong to us; it all belongs to God. The problem is we've misunderstood what that means. Instead of being people who look within and discern where he is leading us, we look around and overcommit ourselves. When the whispers of our calling try to speak to us, we don't have the time or the space to listen" (178).
"You could start by acknowledging the fear. I can't tell you how many times I've swept an emotion aside because it didn't feel valid. Overwhelmed at the garden center? What a luxury! There are people with real problems in the world! Well, that 's true. What is also true is we can't move through what we refuse to acknowledge. And usually, the small things are simply arrows pointing to some bigger things" (201). 
I appreciate this book and all of Emily P. Freeman's works. She's taught me so much about life, about how to be human in a sustainable way. She says her job is to help you create room for your soul to breathe, and I admit, she's helped me realize I have a living soul at all, rather than just a brain.
Favorite chapters 8, 19-22.

Ayesha At Last
This was a fun Pride and Prejudice re-telling. Like Unmarriageable, the characters are in a modern-day, Muslim culture, and the parallels between Austen's time are remarkable. Unlike Unmarriageable, Jalaluddin's story is a loose re-telling, maybe more "inspired by" the original. I found the mistaken identity trope a bit annoying, but I think she was doing something with a Shakespeare reference that I didn't initially see. Between that and Ayesha's unhealthy 9 traits, I didn't find her as likeable as I may have wished, but this was a fun read.

Persuasion
Austen is fun, and she is particularly scathing in this work. There were too many characters for me to get to know any of them well enough, though, including the protagonist's love interest, which made the happy ending a bit anticlimactic for me. But you gotta love the Crofts' marriage, what a delight. 

The Death of Ivan IlychThis one  landed on my TBR when it was mentioned in @atul.gawande's Being Mortal. And wow, it’s amazing how this account of the end of life from 1886 resembles what happens in today’s healthcare system (in my experience as a nurse, at least)! An interesting, if disturbing, read for sure.

Finding Lost Words
Easily one of the most influential books of the year. I'm so glad I read this. As I continue on my journey, I more and more see my need for a theology that can provide a framework able to support the real upheavals and struggles inherent to the human condition. I'll have to write a whole post on this one.