The Wisdom of the Enneagram

"They work to maintain their peace of mind just as they work to establish peace and harmony in their world" (316).

"We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves--a strong sense of their own identity.
"Ironically, therefore, the only type the Nine is not like is the Nine itself" (316).

The Comfort Seeker--"They become increasingly attracted to minor rewards as compensation for not being able to pursue real desires--but always with some repressed underlying anxiety about not attending to their real needs" (320).

"Beginning in the average Levels, Nines experience the temptation to be overly accommodating to others because they fear that if they get into conflicts with people, they will lose their connection with them" (322).

The Social Role--Nobody Special--"Average Nines begin to create a particular Social Role by seeing themselves as Nobody Special, the modest person who is content to stay in the background and not cause any inconvenience to others...They feel that their presence, opinions, and involvement do not really matter and are of no particular consequence. As confining as this is from one point of view, Nines find comfort n this self-definition--it allows them to minimize their own hopes and expectations so that they will not be frustrated or feel rejected, angry, or disappointed.....
"Identifying themselves as Nobody Special also offers Nines a certain camouflage, an ability to blend into the background where they will not be intruded on. Their social role also gives them the hope that if they do not take care of themselves, others will see their self-effacing humility and rush to their side....
"Left unchecked, the Nobody Special role can leave Nines with limited energy and little confidence in their ability to cope in life. They become depressed, easily fatigued, and need frequent naps and many hours of sleep. Taking any positive action for themselves becomes more and more difficult" (325).
Immediately below--"I'm Worth It--Make a list of the things in your life that excite you. Don't edit yourself. What kind of person would you be if you could? What steps could you take today to become more like that person? This week? This year?" (325).

Sloth and Self-Forgetting--"Sloth in Nines has to do with not wanting to be internally engaged with what they are doing. They are not necessarily lazy about doing ordinary daily things--on the contrary, they might be extremely busy at work or running a business or a household. Their sloth is internal, a spiritual sloth that makes them not want to be deeply touched or affected by reality. They do not want to show up in their lives in an active, self-initiating way. the result is that even average Nines go on automatic pilot, so that life becomes less immediate and less threatening to them" (326).

"Despite the fact that they may be spiritual seekers, Nines often attempt to get the emotional and physiological benefits of inner work by doing the opposite of being present. They go to sleep, numbing themselves to what they really feel and tuning out reality while still expecting to function effortlessly in it" (326).

"[Their capacity for holding the other--not themselves] allows healthy Nines to be extraordinarily supportive of others. But the fundamental mistake Nines make is to believe that to stay connected with others, they must not be connected with themselves" (327).

"They putter around and run errands but postpone dealing with more critical problems. In this state, they do not understand why people get frustrated with thtem. They are not bothering anyone, so why should anyone be upset with them? What they do not see is how frustrating their lack of appropriate response can be for others. They do not see that they are laying the groundwork for a self-fulfilling prophecy: the disengagement of average-to-unhealthy Nines will eventually bring about the very thing they fear most--loss and separation from others" (327).

"It is important for Nines to understand that numbness is not relaxation. In fact, numbness depends on maintaining physical tension. When we are relaxed, we are deeply aware of our breathing, our body sensations, and our surroundings. Real peace has the quality of aliveness and energy and is not the flat detachment that we see here" (327).

"Appearances to the contrary, Nines are actually the most withdrawn of all the types, although because their withdrawal is not physical, this is not as obvious as it is with other types. Nines continue to participate while withdrawing their attention from an active engagement with the world. They seek to create and maintain an Inner Sanctum, a private place in their minds that no one can tamper with" (328).

Idealizing Others in Relationships--"Idealizing Nines are often attracted to stronger, more aggressive people, looking to them to supply the 'juice' in relationships....But there are three major dangers with this arrangement. First, Nines can be taken advantage of by these more assertive, independent, and aggressive types. Second, the more freewheeling, independent types will often lose interest in the more complacent and unadventurous Nines. Last, ad most important, as long as Nines are trying to fill themselves by merging with the vitality of another, it is unlikely that they will do the work necessary to recover their own vitality" (329).

"Nines may well know that their attention and energy are required for their own self-development, for addressing problems, or for meaningfully engaging with others. But they feel an indefinable hesitancy, as if some extraordinary effort were required to participate more fully in their own lives. It all seems like too much trouble" (331).

"While many Nines do not want to be changes or influenced by others, less healthy Nines also do not want to be affected by their own reactions to events. They feel that anything that could rock the boat is threatening. This includes not only negative emotions but, ironically, positive ones as well. Allowing themselves to get too excited about something can be as threatening to their emotional stability as a legitimate disaster" (331).

"Lower-average Nines seem not to have an aggressive (or even an assertive) bone in their bodies. Underneath their outward appearance of contentment and neutrality, however, we often fin da great deal of hidden anger and resentment that Nines do not want to acknowledge, much less deal with" (332).

"They feel unable to defend themselves appropriately, to speak up for themselves, or to take timely action to further their own interests. Feeling powerless is one of the most powerful causes of suppressed rage" (333).

"Nines become actualized and remain healthy by learning to recognize their own Essential value, like healthy Threes. In effect, they overcome their Social Role, Nobody Special, and recognize that they are worth their own time and energy. They work at developing themselves and their potential and put themselves out in the world, letting others know what they have to offer" (327).

"Integrating Nines will frequently encounter feelings of heaviness or sleepiness whenever they try to do something good for themselves. But as they integrate, they will find their energy increasing, and with it their charisma. After thinking of themselves as invisible for most of their lives, integrating Nines are amazed that others not only listen to them but in fact seek them out" (337).

"Ultimately Nines reclaim their Essential nature by confronting their Basic Fear of losing connection and by letting go of the belief that their participation in the world is unimportant--that they do not have to 'show up.' They realize that the only way to truly achieve the unity and wholeness they seek is not by 'checking out' into the realms of the imagination but by fully engaging themselves in the present moment" (338).