Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

Book-- 4 Stars. Audio narration by Cassandra Campbell-- 4 stars.

Memorable Quotes:
(many of them cringeworthy)

Then Marilyn took her boxes from the hiding place in the attic and sat down to write James a note. But how did you write something like this? It seemed wrong to write to him on her stationary, as if her were a stranger. More wrong still to write it on the scratch pad in the kitchen, as if it were not more important than a grocery list....[then she writes, starting,] "I realized I'm not happy with the kind of life I lead."

~*~*~*~*~

The foam chokes its way down the drain. "I know how to think for myself, you know. Unlike some people, I don't just kowtow to the police." In the blur of her fury, Marilyn doesn't think twice about what she's said. To James, though, the word rifles from his wife's mouth and lodges deep in his chest. From those two syllables, kowtow, explode bent-backed coolies and cone hats, pigtailed Chinamen with sandwiched palms, squinty and servile, bowing and belittled. He has long-suspected that everyone sees him this way...but he had not thought that everyone included Marilyn.

~*~*~*~*~

Her mother must have cried over this page, too, "It's not your fault," your father had said. But Lydia knew it was. They'd done something wrong, she and Nath. They'd made her angry somehow. They hadn't been what she wanted. If her mother ever came home, and told her to finish her milk, she thought, the page wavering to a blur, she would finish her milk. She would brush her teeth without being asked... (about 2/5 of the way thru chapter 6)

~*~*~*~*~

Nath and Lydia brushed their teeth sociably at the sink...It was too big to talk about what had happened.

~*~*~*~*~

As I see it, here's the deep and compelling and worth-mulling-over message of this book:

We all have things we fear are true about ourselves, and when those close to us act in a way that seems to confirm they are true, (often without even knowing it,) it can be devastating and motivate some destructive reactions.

We assume so much about our place in others' lives and how they see us. Assumptions are made back and forth about what's motivating our actions. It would be better for our relationships and our souls to talk about that stuff, but it seems too hard.

I can see this pattern in my life so acutely. These characters often felt a little flat and less than sympathetic as each was obsessed with their own insecurities and attempts at meaning and acceptance. Often they were infuriating in their blindness, and their lack of care for others... but I'm often just as stupid in my assumptions and vain attempts at acceptance.

It was darker than I usually like in fiction. It ended optimistically but not convincingly so. But I still recommend it!