"I can't see anymore because my eyes are wet." --Ginny
And me.
Tuesday, November 14, 2017
Saturday, November 11, 2017
Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng
Book-- 4 Stars. Audio narration by Cassandra Campbell-- 4 stars.
Memorable Quotes:
(many of them cringeworthy)
Then Marilyn took her boxes from the hiding place in the attic and sat down to write James a note. But how did you write something like this? It seemed wrong to write to him on her stationary, as if her were a stranger. More wrong still to write it on the scratch pad in the kitchen, as if it were not more important than a grocery list....[then she writes, starting,] "I realized I'm not happy with the kind of life I lead."~*~*~*~*~
The foam chokes its way down the drain. "I know how to think for myself, you know. Unlike some people, I don't just kowtow to the police." In the blur of her fury, Marilyn doesn't think twice about what she's said. To James, though, the word rifles from his wife's mouth and lodges deep in his chest. From those two syllables, kowtow, explode bent-backed coolies and cone hats, pigtailed Chinamen with sandwiched palms, squinty and servile, bowing and belittled. He has long-suspected that everyone sees him this way...but he had not thought that everyone included Marilyn.
~*~*~*~*~
Her mother must have cried over this page, too, "It's not your fault," your father had said. But Lydia knew it was. They'd done something wrong, she and Nath. They'd made her angry somehow. They hadn't been what she wanted. If her mother ever came home, and told her to finish her milk, she thought, the page wavering to a blur, she would finish her milk. She would brush her teeth without being asked... (about 2/5 of the way thru chapter 6)
~*~*~*~*~
Nath and Lydia brushed their teeth sociably at the sink...It was too big to talk about what had happened.
~*~*~*~*~
As I see it, here's the deep and compelling and worth-mulling-over message of this book:
We all have things we fear are true about ourselves, and when those close to us act in a way that seems to confirm they are true, (often without even knowing it,) it can be devastating and motivate some destructive reactions.
We assume so much about our place in others' lives and how they see us. Assumptions are made back and forth about what's motivating our actions. It would be better for our relationships and our souls to talk about that stuff, but it seems too hard.
I can see this pattern in my life so acutely. These characters often felt a little flat and less than sympathetic as each was obsessed with their own insecurities and attempts at meaning and acceptance. Often they were infuriating in their blindness, and their lack of care for others... but I'm often just as stupid in my assumptions and vain attempts at acceptance.
It was darker than I usually like in fiction. It ended optimistically but not convincingly so. But I still recommend it!
Thursday, June 1, 2017
Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller
"One sign that you have made success an idol is the false sense of security it brings. The poor and the marginalized expect suffering, they know that life on this earth is 'nasty, brutish, and short.' Successful people are much more shocked and overwhelmed by troubles. As a pastor, I've often heard people from the upper eschalons say, 'Life isn't supposed to be this way,' when they face tragedy. I have never heard such language in my years as a pastor among the working class and the poor. The false sense of security comes from deifying our achievement and expecting it to keep us safe from the troubles of life in a way that only God can."--75
"The idol of success cannot be just expelled, it must be replaced. The human heart's desire for a particular valuable object may be conquered, but its need to have some such object is unconquerable... Only when we see that Jesus, our great Suffering Servant, has done for us will we finally understand why God's salvation does not require us to do 'some great thing.' We don't have to do it, because Jesus has."--93
"The increasing political polarization and bitterness we see in U.S. politics today is a sign that we have made political activism into a form of religion. Dutch-Canadian philosopher Al Wolters taught that in the biblical view of things, the main problem in life is sin, and the only solution is God and his grace. The alternative to this view is to identify something besides sin ad the main problem with the world and something besides God as the main remedy. That demonizes something that is not completely bad, and makes and idol out of something that cannot be the ultimate good." --100
"Ideology can be used to refer to any coherent set of ideas about a subject, but it can also have a negative connotation closer to its cousin word, idolatry. An ideology, like an idol, is a limited, partial account of reality that is raised to the level of the final word on things. Ideologues believe that their school or party has the real and complete answer to society's problems. Above all, ideologues hide from their adherents their dependence on God."-- 104
"The reality is much less simplistic. Highly progressive tax structures can produce a kind of injustice where people who have worked hard go unrewarded and are penalized by the high taxes. A society of low taxes and few benefits, however, produces a different kind of injustice, where the children of families who can afford good health care and elite education have vastly better opportunities than those who cannot. In short, ideologues cannot admit that there are always significant negative side-effects to any political program. They cannot grant that their opponents have good ideas too. In any culture in which God is largely absent, sex, money, and politics iwll fill the vacuum for different people. This is the reason that our political discourse is increasingly ideological and polarized. Many describe the current poisonous public discourse as a lack of bipartisanship, but the roots go much deeper than that. As Neibuhr taught, they go back t the beginning of the world, to our alienation from God, and to our frantic efforts to compensate for our feelings of cosmic nakedness and powerlessness. The only way to deal with all these things is to heal our relationship with God."--107
"Putting Nation in the place of God leads to cultural imperialism, and putting Self in the place of God leads to many of the dysfunctional dynamics we have discussed throughout this book. Why did our culture largely abandon God as its Hope? I believe it was because our religious communities have been and continue to be filled with these false gods. Making an idol out of doctrinal accuracy, ministry success, or moral rectitude leads to constant internal conflict, arrogance and self-righteousness, and ooppression of those whose view differ."--132
"Grace is grace. If it is truly trace, then no one was worthy of it at all, and that made all equal." --138
"Archbishop William Temple once said, 'Your religion is what you do with your solitude.'"--168
"The gospel asks, What is operating in the place of Jesus Christ as your real, functional salvation and Savior?"--174
"The idol of success cannot be just expelled, it must be replaced. The human heart's desire for a particular valuable object may be conquered, but its need to have some such object is unconquerable... Only when we see that Jesus, our great Suffering Servant, has done for us will we finally understand why God's salvation does not require us to do 'some great thing.' We don't have to do it, because Jesus has."--93
"The increasing political polarization and bitterness we see in U.S. politics today is a sign that we have made political activism into a form of religion. Dutch-Canadian philosopher Al Wolters taught that in the biblical view of things, the main problem in life is sin, and the only solution is God and his grace. The alternative to this view is to identify something besides sin ad the main problem with the world and something besides God as the main remedy. That demonizes something that is not completely bad, and makes and idol out of something that cannot be the ultimate good." --100
"Ideology can be used to refer to any coherent set of ideas about a subject, but it can also have a negative connotation closer to its cousin word, idolatry. An ideology, like an idol, is a limited, partial account of reality that is raised to the level of the final word on things. Ideologues believe that their school or party has the real and complete answer to society's problems. Above all, ideologues hide from their adherents their dependence on God."-- 104
"The reality is much less simplistic. Highly progressive tax structures can produce a kind of injustice where people who have worked hard go unrewarded and are penalized by the high taxes. A society of low taxes and few benefits, however, produces a different kind of injustice, where the children of families who can afford good health care and elite education have vastly better opportunities than those who cannot. In short, ideologues cannot admit that there are always significant negative side-effects to any political program. They cannot grant that their opponents have good ideas too. In any culture in which God is largely absent, sex, money, and politics iwll fill the vacuum for different people. This is the reason that our political discourse is increasingly ideological and polarized. Many describe the current poisonous public discourse as a lack of bipartisanship, but the roots go much deeper than that. As Neibuhr taught, they go back t the beginning of the world, to our alienation from God, and to our frantic efforts to compensate for our feelings of cosmic nakedness and powerlessness. The only way to deal with all these things is to heal our relationship with God."--107
"Putting Nation in the place of God leads to cultural imperialism, and putting Self in the place of God leads to many of the dysfunctional dynamics we have discussed throughout this book. Why did our culture largely abandon God as its Hope? I believe it was because our religious communities have been and continue to be filled with these false gods. Making an idol out of doctrinal accuracy, ministry success, or moral rectitude leads to constant internal conflict, arrogance and self-righteousness, and ooppression of those whose view differ."--132
"Grace is grace. If it is truly trace, then no one was worthy of it at all, and that made all equal." --138
"Archbishop William Temple once said, 'Your religion is what you do with your solitude.'"--168
"The gospel asks, What is operating in the place of Jesus Christ as your real, functional salvation and Savior?"--174
Monday, May 22, 2017
The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
"If everyone was so keen to Christianize the slaves, why weren't they taught to read the Bible for themselves?' -41
She proceeds to teach the slave children in her Sunday School class the alphabet song.
The Reverend comes... "'We do not sing in Colored Sunday School, and we most assuredly do not sing the alphabet. Are you aware that it is against the law to teach a slave to read?'"
"I knew of this law, thought vaguely, as if it had been stored in a root cellar in my head and suddenly dug up like some moldy yam. All right, it was the law, but it struck me as shameful. Surely he wouldn't claim this was God's will, too.
"He waited for me to answer, and when I didn't, he said, 'Would you put the church in contradiction of the law?'" -43
Words of Sarah's mother, Mrs. Grimke..."'Every girl comes into the world with varying degrees of ambition, even it if's only the hope of not belonging body and soul to her husband. I was a girl once, believe it or not. THe truth is that every girl must have ambition knocked out of ter for her own good. You are unusual only in your determination to fight what is inevitable. You resisted and so it came to this, to being broken like a horse. Sarah darling, you've faught harder than I imagined, but you must give yourself over to your duty and your fate and make whatever happiness you can.'" -81
Sarah's thought afterward, realizing Handful had overheard: "There's no pain on earth that doesn't crave a benevolent witness." -81
She proceeds to teach the slave children in her Sunday School class the alphabet song.
The Reverend comes... "'We do not sing in Colored Sunday School, and we most assuredly do not sing the alphabet. Are you aware that it is against the law to teach a slave to read?'"
"I knew of this law, thought vaguely, as if it had been stored in a root cellar in my head and suddenly dug up like some moldy yam. All right, it was the law, but it struck me as shameful. Surely he wouldn't claim this was God's will, too.
"He waited for me to answer, and when I didn't, he said, 'Would you put the church in contradiction of the law?'" -43
Words of Sarah's mother, Mrs. Grimke..."'Every girl comes into the world with varying degrees of ambition, even it if's only the hope of not belonging body and soul to her husband. I was a girl once, believe it or not. THe truth is that every girl must have ambition knocked out of ter for her own good. You are unusual only in your determination to fight what is inevitable. You resisted and so it came to this, to being broken like a horse. Sarah darling, you've faught harder than I imagined, but you must give yourself over to your duty and your fate and make whatever happiness you can.'" -81
Sarah's thought afterward, realizing Handful had overheard: "There's no pain on earth that doesn't crave a benevolent witness." -81
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
A Praying Life by Paul Miller
I found this very helpful!! Didn't love every single chapter, but found lots of help and encouragement and insight from several parts. #1 realization-I need to approach praying from a place of helplessness.
Many quotes I love:
--"...quiet cynicism or spiritual weariness that develops in us when heartfelt prayer goes unanswered. We keep our doubts hidden even from ourselves because we don't want to sound like bad Christians. No reason to add shame to our cynicism. So our hearts shut down" (14), which leads to...."Praying exposes how self-preoccupied we are and uncovers our doubts. It was easier on our faith NOT to pray. After only a few minutes, our prayer is in shambles. Barely out of the starting gate, we collapse on the sidelines--cynical, guilty, and hopeless" (15). Having a strong prayer life requires MORE FAITH. I want that faith.
--"We are so busy that when we slow down to pray, we find it uncomfortable. We prize accomplishments, production. But prayer is nothing but talking to God. It feels useless, as if we are wasting time. Ever bone in our bodies screams, "Get to work." When we aren't working, we are used to being entertained... When we slow down, we slip into a stupor." I want to recognize this barrier to prayer and overcome it.
--On *knowing* that God is my Father, who is accessible, that I have an intimate relationship... but not praying like it: "Your relationship with your heavenly Father is dysfunctional. You talk as if you have an intimate relationship, but you don't. Theoretically, it is close. Practically, it is distant. You need help" (17). "Many people struggle to learn how to pray because they are focusing on praying, not on God....prayer is the center of this book. Getting to know a person, God, is the center" (20).
--"Since a praying life is interconnected with every part of our lives, learning to pray is almost identical to maturing over a lifetime....So don't hunt for a feeling in prayer. Deep in our psyches we want an experience with God or an experience in prayer. Once we make that our quest, we lose God. YOU DON'T EXPERIENCE GOD, YOU GET TO NOW HIM" (21).
--the solution to cynicism above: "The Praying Life.. Gives Birth to Hope" "Many Christians give in to a quiet cynicism that leaves us uknowingly paralyzed. WE see the world as monolithic, frozen....[if God controls everything,] what's the point [in praying]? Because it is uncomfortable to feel our unbelief to come face-to-face with our cynicism, we dull our souls with the narcotic of activity....Because my Father controls everything, I can ask, and he will listen and act. Since I am his child, change is possible--and hope is born" (23). OH, TO LIVE IN THE BELIEF OF THOSE LAST 2 STATEMENTS.
--"The praying life...becomes integrated" "The quest for a contemplative life can be self-absorbed, focused on my quiet and me. IF we love people and have the power to help, then we are going to be busy. Learning to pray doesn't offer us a less busy life; it offers us a less busy heart" (23).
--"We have an allergic reaction to dependency, but this is the state of the heart most necessary for a praying life. A needy heart is a praying heart. Dependency is the heartbeat of prayer" (24).
--"We know that to become a Christian we shouldn't try to fix ourselves up, but when it comes ot praying, we completely forget that...we don't just come as we are. We try, like adults, to fix ourselves up. Private, personal prayer is one of the last great bastions of legalism. In order to pray like a child, you might need to unlearn the non-personal, nonreal praying that you've been taught" (32).
--"The kingdom comes when Jesus becomes king of your life. But it has to be YOUR LIFE. You can't create a kingdom that doesn't exist, where you try to be better than you really are. Jesus calls that hypocrisy--putting on a mask to cover the real you" (33).
--"Many Christians pray mechanically for God's kingdom (for missionaries, the church, and so on), but all the while their lives are wrapped up in their own kingdom. You can't add God's kingdom as an overlay of your own" (34).
--"...my inability, my mindepression, was my door to God. IN fact, God wanted me depressed about myself and encouraged about His Son. The gospel uses my weakness as the door to God's grace. That is how grace works" (57).
--"You don't need self-discipline to pray continuously; you just need to be poor in spirit" (65).
--"I discovered myself praying simple two-and three-word prayers, such as TEACH ME or HELP ME, JESUS. The psalms are filled with this type of short bullet prayer... Scripture takes the pressure off because we don't have to know exactly what we need....[for example,] 'Lead me to the rock that is higher than I' (Psalm 61:2)" (65-66).
--"Ironically, it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Since the Fall, evil feels omnipresent, making cynicism an easy sell. Because cynicism sees what is 'really going on,' it feels real, authentic....'I know that I am not alone in my struggle with cynicism...It just feels like we can't find the joy in things, like we are too aware to trust or hope'....Cynicism creates a numbness toward life...The cynic is always observing, critiquing, but never engaged, loving, and hoping...We've moved..to a..detached age...'But that's a double-edged sword. It protects you from crushing disappointments, but it paralyzes you from doing anything.' To be cynical is to be distant...cynicism actually destroys intimacy...Cynicism begins...with naive optimism, or foolish confidence.....'I make the jump from optimism to darkness so quickly because I am not grounded in a deep, abiding faith that God is in the matter, no matter what the matter is. I am looking for pleasant results, not deeper realities'...In naive optimism, we don't need to pray because everything is under control. In cynicism we can't pray because everything is out of control, little is possible" (79-81). "Instead of naive optimism, Jesus calls us to be wary, yet confident in our heavenly Father. We are to combine a robust trust in the Good Shepherd with a vigilance about the presence of evil in our own hearts and the hearts of others. The feel or a praying life is cautious optimism--caution because of the Fall, optimism because of redemption. Cautious optimism allows Jesus to boldly sent his disciples into an evil world" (84). "Cynicism looks in the wrong direction. It looks for the cracks in Christianity instead of looking for the presence of Jesus. It is an orientation of the heart. The sixth cure for cynicism, then is this: develop an eye for Jesus" (96).
Many quotes I love:
--"...quiet cynicism or spiritual weariness that develops in us when heartfelt prayer goes unanswered. We keep our doubts hidden even from ourselves because we don't want to sound like bad Christians. No reason to add shame to our cynicism. So our hearts shut down" (14), which leads to...."Praying exposes how self-preoccupied we are and uncovers our doubts. It was easier on our faith NOT to pray. After only a few minutes, our prayer is in shambles. Barely out of the starting gate, we collapse on the sidelines--cynical, guilty, and hopeless" (15). Having a strong prayer life requires MORE FAITH. I want that faith.
--"We are so busy that when we slow down to pray, we find it uncomfortable. We prize accomplishments, production. But prayer is nothing but talking to God. It feels useless, as if we are wasting time. Ever bone in our bodies screams, "Get to work." When we aren't working, we are used to being entertained... When we slow down, we slip into a stupor." I want to recognize this barrier to prayer and overcome it.
--On *knowing* that God is my Father, who is accessible, that I have an intimate relationship... but not praying like it: "Your relationship with your heavenly Father is dysfunctional. You talk as if you have an intimate relationship, but you don't. Theoretically, it is close. Practically, it is distant. You need help" (17). "Many people struggle to learn how to pray because they are focusing on praying, not on God....prayer is the center of this book. Getting to know a person, God, is the center" (20).
--"Since a praying life is interconnected with every part of our lives, learning to pray is almost identical to maturing over a lifetime....So don't hunt for a feeling in prayer. Deep in our psyches we want an experience with God or an experience in prayer. Once we make that our quest, we lose God. YOU DON'T EXPERIENCE GOD, YOU GET TO NOW HIM" (21).
--the solution to cynicism above: "The Praying Life.. Gives Birth to Hope" "Many Christians give in to a quiet cynicism that leaves us uknowingly paralyzed. WE see the world as monolithic, frozen....[if God controls everything,] what's the point [in praying]? Because it is uncomfortable to feel our unbelief to come face-to-face with our cynicism, we dull our souls with the narcotic of activity....Because my Father controls everything, I can ask, and he will listen and act. Since I am his child, change is possible--and hope is born" (23). OH, TO LIVE IN THE BELIEF OF THOSE LAST 2 STATEMENTS.
--"The praying life...becomes integrated" "The quest for a contemplative life can be self-absorbed, focused on my quiet and me. IF we love people and have the power to help, then we are going to be busy. Learning to pray doesn't offer us a less busy life; it offers us a less busy heart" (23).
--"We have an allergic reaction to dependency, but this is the state of the heart most necessary for a praying life. A needy heart is a praying heart. Dependency is the heartbeat of prayer" (24).
--"We know that to become a Christian we shouldn't try to fix ourselves up, but when it comes ot praying, we completely forget that...we don't just come as we are. We try, like adults, to fix ourselves up. Private, personal prayer is one of the last great bastions of legalism. In order to pray like a child, you might need to unlearn the non-personal, nonreal praying that you've been taught" (32).
--"The kingdom comes when Jesus becomes king of your life. But it has to be YOUR LIFE. You can't create a kingdom that doesn't exist, where you try to be better than you really are. Jesus calls that hypocrisy--putting on a mask to cover the real you" (33).
--"Many Christians pray mechanically for God's kingdom (for missionaries, the church, and so on), but all the while their lives are wrapped up in their own kingdom. You can't add God's kingdom as an overlay of your own" (34).
--"...my inability, my mindepression, was my door to God. IN fact, God wanted me depressed about myself and encouraged about His Son. The gospel uses my weakness as the door to God's grace. That is how grace works" (57).
--"You don't need self-discipline to pray continuously; you just need to be poor in spirit" (65).
--"I discovered myself praying simple two-and three-word prayers, such as TEACH ME or HELP ME, JESUS. The psalms are filled with this type of short bullet prayer... Scripture takes the pressure off because we don't have to know exactly what we need....[for example,] 'Lead me to the rock that is higher than I' (Psalm 61:2)" (65-66).
--"Ironically, it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Since the Fall, evil feels omnipresent, making cynicism an easy sell. Because cynicism sees what is 'really going on,' it feels real, authentic....'I know that I am not alone in my struggle with cynicism...It just feels like we can't find the joy in things, like we are too aware to trust or hope'....Cynicism creates a numbness toward life...The cynic is always observing, critiquing, but never engaged, loving, and hoping...We've moved..to a..detached age...'But that's a double-edged sword. It protects you from crushing disappointments, but it paralyzes you from doing anything.' To be cynical is to be distant...cynicism actually destroys intimacy...Cynicism begins...with naive optimism, or foolish confidence.....'I make the jump from optimism to darkness so quickly because I am not grounded in a deep, abiding faith that God is in the matter, no matter what the matter is. I am looking for pleasant results, not deeper realities'...In naive optimism, we don't need to pray because everything is under control. In cynicism we can't pray because everything is out of control, little is possible" (79-81). "Instead of naive optimism, Jesus calls us to be wary, yet confident in our heavenly Father. We are to combine a robust trust in the Good Shepherd with a vigilance about the presence of evil in our own hearts and the hearts of others. The feel or a praying life is cautious optimism--caution because of the Fall, optimism because of redemption. Cautious optimism allows Jesus to boldly sent his disciples into an evil world" (84). "Cynicism looks in the wrong direction. It looks for the cracks in Christianity instead of looking for the presence of Jesus. It is an orientation of the heart. The sixth cure for cynicism, then is this: develop an eye for Jesus" (96).
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