"Whereas in some church traditions you enter a sanctuary in a spirit of quiet reverence, in evangelical churches you walk into what feels like a nonalcoholic cocktail party. There is a chatty, mingling informality to evangelicalism, where words flow like wine. To participate in the evangelical church is to join the conversation. Introverts, however, spare our words in unfamiliar contexts and often prefer to observe on the fringe rather than engage in the center. Our spirituality may be grounded in Scripture, yet is quieter, slower, and more contemplative. In an upfront, talkative, active evangelical culture, we can be viewed as self-absorbed or standoffish, and we can fell like outsiders even when we have faithfully attended a church for years." (21)
*note: "we" is introverts... see entry on Quiet.
"While extroverts commonly feel loneliness when others are absent, introverts can feel most lonely when others are present, because ours is the aching loneliness of not being known or understood" (50).
"Herein lies the deep irony in a Christian view of healing for introverts: as followers of Jesus, even introverted ones, our ultimate identity is never found in aloneness, but it is found in relationship to another.... We define ourselves in relationship to Christ: who we are is how we relate to him" (56).
"...the introverted trajectory of growth is toward relationships with others and relationship with the outside world. The love that is the ultimate goal of the Christian life cannot be restricted to inner stirrings, but it must be expressed in self-sacrificial action.....In the process, we are not aiming to become extroverts; we still firmly remain introverts and have a preference toward solitude. Our goal, rather, is to stretch our personality preferences without distorting them. We learn how to look outward but, at the same time, without losing our center" (59-60).
"As introverts who are followers of Jesus, we must remember that our introversion does not ultimately determine our thoughts and behaviors. Personality typing is a helpful way to understand ourselves and how to live authentically in the world, but it is not what centrally defines us. When we use our introversion as an excuse for not loving people sacrificially, we are not acting as introverts formed in the image of God. We who follow a crucified Messiah know that love will sometimes compel us to willingly choose things that make us uncomfortable, to surrender our rights for the blessing of others" (63).
"A proper understanding of christian spirituality will embrace the entire person, not simply the person's 'spirit.' If the preeminent commandment is that you should 'love the Lord your God will all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength' (Mark 12:30), then our theology and practice of spirituality must address each aspect of our humanness" (77).
When discussing sleep and that many introverts need more sleep than average, "It's important that we pay attention to the mundane as well as the sublime, as it's the mundane that makes the sublime possible" (79).
Introverts can be good leaders, but "we must distinguish between our energy level for a task and our gifting for that same task. Just because we lose energy doing something does not necessarily indicate we are not a good fit for it. I am convinced that calling, not personality type, is the determinative factor in the formation and longevity of a leader" (137).
How to thrive in ministry: self-care. "She finds it easier to connect with God through silence, art and ritual than through the chatty fellowship and unstructured worship of her church" (140-141).
"Our self-care must also move in an outward direction....Hart's observation that introspection without any other influence leads to distortion is especially penetrating for introverted leaders. Even though our internal process is incredibly valuable, there is clarity that comes from speaking out loud. God never intended for even the most introverted person to live life without reference to others. Isolation is never an indicator of spiritual health" (141).
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